GUEST POST: Negative Self Speak—Breaking The Vicious Cycle with Caroline Poe

Let the words you speak to yourself be kind ones. You will never speak to anyone more than you speak to yourself and the truth is that your thoughts hold so much power.

At any given moment, within my own mind there are a variety of narratives underway. I recently learned how to be more self-aware. One of the results of practicing this is a positive turn in how I speak to myself. In the past I would often reprimand myself for any number of things including:

  • Going about something the wrong way
  • Not being good enough
  • ”I am the worst because ________”

The way you speak to yourself matters. The thoughts you have about yourself have a very real effect on your moods and actions. And, these thoughts gain power when you say the same things repeatedly—and become “truth” after enough time.  Mantra becomes mindset.

There are many of us who naturally practice positive self-talk. Sadly, this is not the case for everyone. Today I really want to address negative self-talk, that poor habit of being unduly hard on oneself. Today’s pressure to be perfect or fit in may be the result of work expectations, social media’s influence, or that of society on a whole, however we must end this negative narrative in our head.

So, how do I combat theses never-ending negative thought patterns? Replace the negative self-talk with new positive self-talk. Actively stop being a slave to your own mind. If you want different results, you must change your mind. You do this by actively changing the way you think and the way you speak. The only way to change is to replace those thoughts. I don’t believe in just “stop that” or “change”. There must be a proactive and practical application to replace the previous habit.

What might that look like for you?

The first step is practicing awareness. Be aware of thoughts that come to your mind and how you respond to them. Notice the following:

  • What are you saying to yourself?
  • Do you really believe that?
  • Do you like how you are treating yourself?

Really think about your answers to these questions—and change the narrative in your head. If it is hard for you to come up with something positive, usually it’s just the opposite of your current self-talk. The simple solution is to flip it around.

For example thoughts like “I am so picky. My friends are probably so annoyed and think I’m a diva.” Should become, “I know what I like, and I can communicate what I want and need.”

By becoming aware of your thought patterns and reversing what might be your natural and negative way of thinking you can transform the way you think about yourself.


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Instagram: @capturethecadence

Twitter: @capturecadence

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